Reviewing everything seen in the February 17th Nintendo Direct

Because I don’t want this to become a home improvement / apartment progress blog – even though that is what is currently consuming my every waking moment – here is a high-level review of everything Nintendo showed at their first full-length Direct in what feels like forever:

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 character in Smash

Review: I don’t know who this anime girl is, why is this not Breath of the Wild 2?

Fall Guys on Switch this summer

Review: Fall Guys is a good game to play while zoning out talking to friends and I would get it on Switch if I didn’t already have it on PC or if it was free.

Outer Wilds on Switch this summer

Review: Hell yes. Having just recently, finally finished this game, I am absolutely prepared to buy it again and play it in bed. I love Outer Wilds to death. Easily one of my favorite games of all time. Pumped for more folks to try it on Switch.

Samurai Warriors 5 on Switch this summer

Review: I don’t know what this is. I saw it and tuned out. I think there are samurai.

Famicom Detective Club being localized

Review: Old games that never got localized getting localized is very good and cool in my book! I don’t know what these games are, but I hope someone is excited about this.

Legend of Mana coming to Switch

Review: I am biased against the Mana series of games for reasons I do not remember or understand. I just see them and think, “man, fuck those games.” Fuck those games I guess!

New Monster Hunter Rise trailer

Review: I switched tabs when this came on.

Mario Golf Super Rush

Review: HELLO. I would like to be the small red plumber man and his friends having fun on the golf course please. Pump that shit into my veins.

Capcom Arcade Stadium

Review: Neat!

Stubbs the Zombie

Review: This is where my girlfriend and I started making dinner, so I have no memory of this existing other than, “I am chopping broccoli right now and I don’t care about this game.”

Tales from the Borderlands

Review: Borderlands is a series of games that exists.

DC Super Hero Girls

Review: Looks like a bad mobile game. Girls deserve better games. Also girls don’t need games that are Extremely For Girls, they can just…play games. I mean, I understand the need for and appeal of girly games, I just think th-

No More Heroes III

Review: This series feels like someone confused South Park for art.

Knockout City

Review: I don’t remember this. I was probably still making dinner. Looking at this title makes me feel nothing.

Neon White

Review: Looked very stylish, and a friend of mine said they thought it seemed cool. Worth a second look, I think.

Miitopia on Switch

Review: I remember liking this on 3DS, and I think it’s cool that a 3DS game is getting a modern re-release.

Mario items in Animal Crossing

Review: Adorable. Looking forward to it.

Project Triangle Strategy

Review: Down for a slick new tactics game! Downloaded the demo but have not played yet.

Star Wars Hunters

Review: I’m always excited for more Star Wars games, especially ones not made by EA. Maybe this one will prove I shouldn’t be! A Star Wars multiplayer shooter sounds neat. It’ll probably suck and I’ll end up loving it for no reason. Remains to be seen!

World’s End Club

Review: I think I thought this was a TWEWY thing and zoned out because I never played TWEWY. Is it a TWEWY thing? I still don’t know.

Ninja Gaiden trilogy on Switch

Review: Ninja Gaiden games exist and people play them and I think they like them.

Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity DLC

Review: If I had a money-making machine, I would also turn it on from time to time.

Skyward Sword HD on Switch

Review: Fuck this game.

Splatoon 3

Review: Sick. Yes. Absolutely. I played a bit of Splatoon 2 on Switch, and the series’ vibes are frankly impeccable. Pumped for more. Good teaser.

That’s all folks! What are you most excited about from this list? Anything you wanted to see but didn’t? You know where to let me know.

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