This Weird Fuckin’ T-Phone Rips

Movie prop lookin’ ass.

There are no rules anymore. It’s 2020. You know this.

If you’ve paid any attention to consumer tech in the past two years, you know that the companies that make phones have gotten both very rich and extremely bored, and so it is time to stunt on ’em.

Samsung has been folding its phones in half in both directions, Motorola saw that as an opportunity to bring back the Razr, and then there was whatever the fuck this is.

LG, meanwhile, has been coming at this whole thing sideways. Rather than develop and release what might turn out to be “just another” folding phone, they said “fuck it, how bout a phone that’s TWO phones.

And now I am happy to report that they are at it again with this goddamn monstrosity.

You might look at this photo and think, “hey, that’s just a scaled-up VCAST,” and by god you’d be right. I think that’s exactly what I love about this concept: at first blush, without that context, you might think it looks pretty cool (it does), but once you’re past that, and you start imagining how you’d hold this thing, let alone how thick and heavy it would likely be, you can move on to the comedy of imagining someone dropping this weird, top-heavy hand-television right onto the subway tracks at rush hour.

I simultaneously feel so glad that this concept exists and that LG might make it, and 100% sure that no one should buy it and anyone who does is a complete tool. I want it to exist, but should it? That’s what’s so great about art: this image can exist without the need to ever make it real or practical or think about any of the physical logistics required of phone manufacturing and distribution.

But since we as a society don’t value art or artists whatsoever beyond the ability of their work to generate profits for capital, at least there’s this to look at.

I don’t know that anything currently being toyed with by these corporations matches or exceeds the utility of a flat slab of glass, but I’m glad they’re trying. Propel my ass directly into this weird future-tech.

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